Show Biz 101

"We all know what I do out there...that's politics. What you do in here...that's entertainment. It ain't politics in here."

We're heading towards election day in November, which means the one month grace period where I didn't have a dozen politicians coming through my production door everday to cut a commercial has officially ended. Today, two candidates (State Rep. candidates, both) came in to do their next round of spots in the final drive to winning their seats. The utter lack of enthusiasm I felt for this wacky, busy stretch of time kind of disappointed me. I believe I've become jaded to political commercials and...dare I say...the politicans themselves.

The quote up there was what one of the guys running, perhaps the most genuinely nice people to ever run for anything, told me today. I'm producing two commercials for him: one using an announcer voice spliced with his, and other using his war veteran son and his young daughter singing his praises. He came to me for advice about how the spot should sound, I gave him some, and we had that exchange. Every politician that comes through here knows that to be true, but he actually said it...which was weird to hear outloud.

Do we really care about the issues or the way the politican presents themselves to us?

If JFK himself walked in to my studio and cut a commercial where he just said "Vote for me...I'm f'ing JOHN KENNEDY. I'm better, smarter, richer and more prepared for this job. Plus, I'm going to win anyway because of my last name," would we not vote for him? I mean...he's qualified. He'd be more qualified than anybody else, anyway. If a bad person comes in to make a political commercial, why do they try and act nicer? Why not just focus on the issues? Is it really because, deep down, not one of us would vote for the bad guy with the right take on the issues over the nice guy who's an idiot?

I've worked probably five different local elections now, and I have to say that I can't think of a time where that situation unraveled, and the bad guy won. Just in last month's primary, one of the candidates who became a local laughing stock because of his utter failure to answer a question in a debate won his race over his largely more qualified competitor based on one thing: his competitor came off like an arrogant jackass. It was a landslide.

When you hear a politician speak on a radio or TV ad...what are they really saying? Did they take the time to put real thought in, or did they have their staff piece it together and work with the producer (side note: this happens. A lot.) Are imcumbants just putting stuff out there so people won't accuse them of being lazy? Would a challenger ever just say 'screw it, I don't need to impress people with my charm...I'm flat a better candidate' in their ad? Most of all, how the hell can we blame our local officials for being incompetent, when we're the ones electing them based on horrible reasons?

Two years ago, Fall River elected a 29 year old to be mayor. It marked the youngest mayor ever in the city, and also the first time in Fall River's 100+ year history that the sitting mayor didn't come in first or second in the primary, thereby not qualifying for the final vote. Why? Well, the sitting mayor was an arrogant bastard who sounded like a mobster and the new guy had a goofy commercial where a Frank Sinatra impersonator sang his praises of "high hopes." Not to say the commercial won the election...but it's two years later and I'm still hearing from people that come through my radio station how much they loved that stupid thing.

I think what bothers me most about all this is the fact that there's no real way to just throw it all aside and "focus on the issues." How the hell can you do that when there's no forum? All we know are the personalities, not the drive or the motivation to do good by their seat everyday they hold it. The only issue we can focus on, is how much more likeable one candidate is over the other.

You know...come to think of it...this is that damned JFK's fault. Had he not been both the better candidate AND the more likeable candidate when he out debated the sweaty, greaseball posing as Nixon, we'd never be here right now. Eh...ok...we'd still probably be here right now.