He does not have an email address or a home computer. In fact, it wasn't until August that he got his first cell phone.
Random thoughts about media, pop culture, sports and how we can all learn life lessons from "Rocky IV."
Monday, December 6, 2010
My Friend, The Unfrozen Cave Person
He does not have an email address or a home computer. In fact, it wasn't until August that he got his first cell phone.
Monday, November 29, 2010
I Shall Follow My Dreams, Nomar
I wanted to be Nomar Garciaparra.
And you know what? God dammit...I still have a chance.
I still have my oiled up Rawlings glove (which, ironically, had Derek Jeter's autograph on it). I still have the shaved down tennis balls I used to whip against the brick foundation in my backyard in preparation for my debut at Fenway Park. My toe tap is still as brilliant as it was 12 years ago and all these years of not being Nomar have clearly just enhanced my OCD abilities to waggle a bat, adjust by gloves, fix my gold chain, point to Jesus, then adjust my gloves again. So why not go for it? Why not do my best to be Nomar?
Am I too short? Well, at 5'8 and 160 bills, I'm exactly the same size as Dustin Pedroia so OBVIOUSLY that's not going to be an issue in today's modern age. Are my wrists to strong? Shit no! Before I take my first major league swings, of course I'd have some burly motherf***er break them to toughen me up. Hell, I haven't even gotten a haircut since July so I'm just three buckets of industrial strength cooking oil away from having the awesome, trademark pompadour. A few injections of horse testosterone and a marriage to the best female athlete of this generation I'm I'll be golden.
(Side note: Can we lie and say that Maria Sharapova is the elite athlete of this generation? I really don't want to see Diana Taurasi naked.)
I'm sick of looking back at middle school year books and laughing at how ridiculously short everybody comes to achieving their dreams! Aren't our little kid dreams so much better than our adult ones?
"Hey Johnny, what do YOU wanna be when you grow up?"
"Well, I'm thinking I'll play high school football for a few years. Make varsity, smoke a lot of pot, and forget that you have to apply to colleges to get in. From there I'll probably go to community college for a semeseter, drop out because school sucks, then work part time construction with my Uncle Manny until I knock up that chick down the street who totally has the hots for me."
Where are the lawyers and astronauts?! Shouldn't our population be overrun with veteranarians and pop singers?! Where are the short, Portuguese guys running the point for the Celtics in the NBA?!
Nuh-uh. Not me. No-siree. I'm sick of working this Monday-Friday, 45 hours a week regular working man garbage. Would Nomar Garciaparra work in radio? HELL. NO. He's too handsome to be on radio! I bet ESPN came to Nomar and said "Hey, Nomar! How'd you like to work production at our radio station in Bristol? Work behind the scenes, voice some things, and really put your nose to the....uh....ok, don't put your nose to anything. You might hurt whatever it is you've put it to." And you know what Nomar said? Screw you, ESPN! Get me on TV because that's what I want to do. I may be dopey, lack opinions, insight and apparently razor blades...but I'm Nomar Garcia-f***ing-parra!
That's why I'm heading to the batting cages tonight. I'm gonna strap on the gloves and get to swinging the bat because I won't give up on my dreams. I haven't swung a bat in five years, but I assume with age comes both power, agility, and enhanced hand-eye coordination. Bye-bye, working in local radio...I have a higher calling. Once the scouts from the Sox see me gracefully tracking down balls into into the third base gap they'll be amazed. I'll dazzle them with my ability to hit to all fields. Wait till they see me negotiate a contract too...I'll pout and frown harder than a new born without a binky. Theo will melt like freakin' butter.
All my years of hard work and number 5 jerseys are going to pay off. This time next year, I'll be the starting shortstop for YOUR Boston Red Sox.
Oh...wait a tic. I'm thumbing through my Middle School year book and apparently I wanted to be The Foo Fighers when I grew up. Oops.
I'm coming for you, Grohl.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Hot Dog Flavored Mistakes
It can't be healthy to keep it in, so I'm just gonna say it outloud for everyone. Our generation's weakest, lowest, darkest point. An event we all got sucked into, probably spent money on, and have spent years pulling a Mel Gibson's Dad pretending it didn't happen. It did. And we have to look it in the eye and deal with it. Ready?
Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water.
I know, I know...I cried a little bit just having to type it. But you know what? Screw it. I'm going to own what we all should own up to.
I bought Chocolate Starfish. I looked forward to buying it. When it came out, I took 20 of my hard earned, Dunkin Donuts made dollars, and bought it. I went home with a big ass smile on my face, popped that baby into my CD player, and listened all the way through. What I, and everybody, should have done was slam my face against a wall of rusty nails then burned 20 bucks with the nearest blowtorch. But we didn't do that. We got excited about what was supposed to be the biggest album of the year and fell into a bear trap made for millions, and everybody walked away looking like they just watched their dog get run over by an oil tanker.
What made this catastrophe worse was the epic, class transcending ability Chocolate Starfish had to disappoint. Genuine rap-rock fans stood in line to get it at the same time pop-loving girls with "PINK" splashed on their asses got it. Metal heads bought into the hype and picked it up at the same time the first wave of Juggalo's did the same (side note: Juggalo's deserved this. Assclowns.) Personally, I was probably a little more attached to the early stages of emo music than I'd like to admit and I bought the crap out of Chocolate Starfish. I figured "Hey, 'N-Together Now' is a good song and 'Rearranged' was ok...let's do it!" I wasn't expecting 12 different remixes of the song "Rollin'" and other audible pieces of brown noise producing garbage. But then again, nobody was.
I should point out, up until this point, I was totally against the modern rock scene too. To this day, I will stand on firm ground and argue that Stained and Creed are the worse things to happen to rock music since rehab and condoms. I distinctly remember arguing my freshman year with two kids in $50 GAP sweatshirts why the d-bag from Stained had absolutely nothing to be so depressed about and how he was just pandering to upper-middle class white kids who thought they had social problems. And this is coming from someone who bought a Rufio CD. Don't know who Rufio is? Good for you. I really wish I felt the same.
A couple of years ago, I went rummaging through the cd rack of an old friend of mine. Like everybody else, his cd rack had more dust on it than Cloris Leachman's hoo-ha, but I was able to wipe it away to reveal an absolutely epic collection of horrible music from our youth. New Found Glory. American Hi-Fi. The cd that wasn't 14:59 by Sugar Ray. Eiffel 65. Lou Bega.
Yah. That's right. Lou Bega.
Then I found Chocolate Starfish. Seeing it's nonsensical, mushy oompa loompa cover brought back "Deer Hunter" esque flashbacks. Of all the hot garbage that was festering in that rack, this was by far the worst offender and we all knew it. So then the same argument everybody our age has had...
" Two Dollar Bill Y'all was a great CD! Then the one with Nookie on it was pretty great, too! What was I supposed to do...not buy Chocolate Starfish?!"
"Yes! Yes, you could have not bought it! You should have sold high on Enron stock, not wait until it got better! And what the f*** do you mean Two Dollar Bill Y'all was 'great' CD?! Are you retarded?!
"It was! And didn't you buy Chocolate Starfish too?"
"SHUT UP, MAN! NOT FUNNY! OK, MAYBE I DID BUT F*** YOU!"
I think it's high time we all come together, sit around the camp fire, and talk about what we endured. It's healthy to talk about it and let out all of our anger and frustration. Yeah, Stained and Creed were terrible and we can take comfort in the fact that this generation is going to have to atone for making Nickelback gazillionaires, but Chocolate Starfish was our version of Dave getting taken away by the stranger in "Mystic River:" We all saw it, we all know exactly what happened, and it's never going to go away no matter how hard we wish. Think about it...if you see a guy in a backwards, red hat....what do you want to do?
I think we can all agree that hitting him over the head with a broken bottle then ripping his face off while crying "WHY!?" is a fair answer. And that's not normal. I don't think.
Let's heal. Let's talk. Let's all of us put the past behind us and start fresh.
Let's agree that Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water did happen, but it's not going to define our generation's biggest mistake. Because, as clearly stated before, that is totally the entire idea of the I.C.P.
F***ing assclowns.
(A great link on this topic: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100824061145AAC3Dyv)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"Indie"...Why Does the Floor Move?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Don't Hate the Player...
You are recruited to a college that specializes in that craft, given a full scholarship to master the craft, and are given a rather inclusive internship where you get to showcase your abilities in front of thousands of prospective employers. This is an amazing opportunity that is only enhancing the number of zeroes your first paycheck will have when college is finished.
You go to the campus store, and what do you see in the window? A big, ol' honkin' t-shirt with your smiling face on it. Thousands of students, and creepy adults, are causing the shirts to fly off the shelf. Every newspaper in the state is singing your praise for the immense amount of talent and attention you've given the school. Those t-shirts are now the highest selling item in the campus store.
And every single penny made off of your name and abilities is going to the school.
So one day, you take off your own t-shirt, sign it, and give it to the girl sitting next to you in chem. lab. She winks, you laugh, knowing that you're probably going to get laid by that girl in the very near future.
Only you've just been suspended from your internship, scolded by the school, and penalized by the state legislature because you sold your t-shirt and made a profit. You're future is ruined, your reputation tarnished, and the once free ride is now one with lots of shifty eyes. Because you attempted to cash in on your own fame, created and marketing by the school who is allowed to cash in on the same fame, you've been socially and professionally torn down.
Sound fair?
Welcome to the world of NCAA athletics, where even sports fans who don't care about major college sports know that the "system" of the NCAA is more screwed up than than Chris Johnson's teeth. Putting aside the easy target of the money grabbing, self serving joke that is the Bowl Championship Series, let's look at the way student athletes are treated: like cash cows.
By all regards, NCCA football is arguably the new "fourth major sport." The athletes are known before they even commit to a school, and once they do they are major discussions on ESPN and every other sports media around. Stadiums sell jerseys, video games are made, and other heaps of praise are showered on the players with all the revenue made off of these names and likenesses going back to the NCAA and the schools. If a student athlete, most of whom come from poor backgrounds, attempts to make a buck off of their own fame...they are suspended from their team and their reputations are dragged through the mud.
Case in point: A.J. Green, the consensus best WR in college football from Georgia. Green sold his own jersey, which was being sold for $50 in the campus store, to turn a little profit. He was suspended for six games and, in the era of "OH MY GOD!" sports journalism, got lumped in with student athletes who take booster money or accept gifts from greedy agents looking to get their feet in the door of a potential million dollar piggy bank.
I'm not in favor of paying student athletes. I think that's completely unjustified and unfair to students who are helping their campus and communities in other ways. You pay a college football player, you damn well be ready to pay engineering students while they intern as far as I'm concerned. However, it is completely unfair to disallow a student to make money, especially when the college that is admonishing them is doing the exact same thing. Call it "Do as I don't, not as I do, or else you'll be on your ass so fast your head will spin." If AJ Green or Tim Tebow or any other athlete can't make money on their own fame, then neither should the NCAA. No more jerseys or video games or ESPN shows. No more BCS bowl games and multi-million dollar TV deals for conferences or underhanded money grabbing for out of conferences games that will demand hundreds of thousands in TV ad money.
If the NCAA is allowed to blatantly make money off of their athletes...then the athletes should get to make money from playing in the NCAA.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
God Dammit I Love YouTube
This video has 834 views. I account for probably a little over half of those. Why does YouTube exist? Because if it didn't, I would have never have seen this guy's facial expression.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Music and I(pod)
I was raised dorkish, so I wasn't even exposed to anything other than The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac and The Moody Blues until I was a teenager. This left me with a healthy love for music, and specifically the well written songs. When I was in high school, I worshiped at the alter of WBRU and WFNX and couldn't wait until I was in college so I could go to all sorts of college rock shows, grow a spiffy beard, and complain about how hard college was. I always found most of the really good college bands to be the well thought out, well spoken, and well written types who could simultaneously complain but also be introspective. Also, they had cool names like "Soul Asylum" and "Weezer." By the time I got to college, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy replaced flannel shirts and shaggy beards with skinny jeans and cry make-up. This, to me, was a tragic turn of events. Mostly because I think emo music is f'ing horrible, but also because I don't know how to wear a mohawk, fauxhawk, or eyeliner ironically.
I don't remember the day I turned off the radio and plugged in the iPod for good...but it was sometime around there I suspect. That's when I went into my time capsule to avoid what people my own age were listening to that I couldn't stand hearing. In other words: a music snob cocoon of my own creation.
The other day after leaving a concert in Providence, my buddy who was home for the weekend from Texas, asked me if I could recommend any good bands for him. Apparently, the only things popular in Texas are Toby Keith, old Ozzy and every Nickelback song ever recorded. I gave him a few off the top of my head...She & Him, Gnarls Barkley, some of Ok Go, The Fratellis....then I realized I was out. I thumbed through the 1500+ songs on my iPod and realized that I don't have anything new. I couldn't even recommend any good metal bands, because since everybody's favorite gross toilet/venue closed (The Living Room), I hadn't even seen a decent metal show. I had stepped out of the time capsule to realize that I hadn't given modern music a chance in over five years. The last time I had even discussed music, it was an argument over why Trent Reznor and Buckethead were no-talent a**holes and why hack, psuedometal bands like Clutch and Three Days Grace should find a volcano to sacrifice themselves to. But even that was two years ago.
What had I missed in five years?
Were obnoxious BRU DJ's talking about the creative wonders of Panic! At the Disco and AFI? Had Simple Plan, New Found Glory and Something Corporate merged into one high pitched whine known simply as "Found Something Simple?" Could I safely wear leather pants and spiked necklaces and been seen as just a weirdo, not someone going to a concert at Lupos? Had some brave soul broken the mold and created a band with melodic guitars and a singer who sang whilst playing said guitar...or was the world still being run by 65 pound males in makeup bracing themselves on microphones, backed up by overly enthusiastic yet mediocre bass players?
So, I turned on WBRU to see if emo was still in and the time capsule had served its purpose. Emo isn't in, as it turns out. Bands that sound like Brandon Flowers and The Killers are in though, and the bass players are slightly tamer. The singers still make love to their mic stands and can't play anything other than synthesizer...which I guess isn't so bad?
I emailed my brother, who's 16 years older than me, but also has a bigger heart for accepting new bands into his iPod fraternity. He suggested a bunch that I'd casually heard: Arcade Fire, The Black Keys, Wilco, etc...I determined that I like Wilco, although I find Jeff Tweedy's fragile, emotional genius thing to be a little much. I'm ok with The Black Keys...and I just flat don't get the popularity of Arcade Fire. Somewhere along the line, the wackier you sound just meant the better you were. Again, all of this still being better than the aforementioned cry make-up and screaming, so I can't cast too many stones.
In all, this revelation of my own dying taste in finding new, good music is a little depressing. I used to love finding new bands that I could latch on to...now, I'm lucky if I can find a song that catches my interest let along a slew of songs from the same band. I know sites like Pandora are out there and are designed specifically to open your mind to new content...but I like my old content. I was ok with The Killers...but I'll go god damned insane if I hear another "my heart is bleeding inside!" song with guys in ironic suits playing behind them.
I'm not going to go back into the time capsule. But I'm also not willing to argue over why Trent Reznor is a douche anymore either. I think I'm just going to let the music come to me, and not the other way around.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Spare Change
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Play Together! But Not Really, Please!
When I was younger, I was a big video game guy. Some of my fondest memories, and long running in-jokes, revolve around me and my buddies huddled around a 32 inch TV at 4am trying to beat the impossibly hard, yet astromically entertaining, "Conflict: Vietnam." On weekends, one of our friends would bring over a few extra controllers for the PS2, and four or five of us could play college football, hockey, the aforemention Conflict games, and whatever else tickled the fancy of 16 year old us's.
We were stoked when PS3 and X-Box came out, even though those 4am gaming sessions wondering when the next Vietcong was going to scream "RPG!" have turned into occasionally plugging in a first person shooter late on a Saturday night after grabbing a few drinks.
With the near release of the soon to be mega-hit "Call of Duty: Black Ops," we actually got excited. We had heard that the game was going back to the roots of old, offering 4 player co-op (meaning four people could play the game in the same room). Even since PS3 and X-Box came out, the concept of co-op died. Every game is supposed to be played online via social networking and LAN sites. Naturally, this rumor was dragged out for months only to be eventually squashed, like has happened with basically every other game that even thought about going back to regular old co-op games.
To a bunch of almost mid-20's guys...this isn't the end of the world. We would have had an f'ing blast playing it like the old days, but oh well. What does upset me though is the hypocracy of "social" gaming.
What exactly is more social: sitting in an empty room talking s**t to complete strangers via a microphone, or sitting with three friends playing the game at one in the same room?
It's not like the technology doesn't exist...it did ten years ago. And it's also not an obvious cash grab for the PS3 people...their online network is free.
Maybe it's the World of Warcraft-ing of video gaming...but I think this all kind of sucks. I don't play games online and, even if I did, I'd sure as hell rather have the option to play with my friends in the same room without having to bring an extra three TV's and a Best Buy's worth of LAN cables. Considering gaming is evolving just as quickly as social networking and cell phones, it's amazing that none of the "Scream Into Space For Attention" parent groups aren't pissing and moaning over the promotion of solidarity that PS3 and X-Box are promoting. I'm sure once Rock Star Games comes out with a new role player where the main character does coke off of a dead hooker's stomach, we might get a few hits...but until then what? Just a bunch of kids sitting in dimly lit rooms with pouches of Capri Suns calling each other "noobs."
Call me a crotchety old man...but I liked it better before. I mean, at least then we could throw the empty Capri Suns at each other when we called each other noobs.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Political Jabronyism
I saw this video today whole floating around "teh interwebs" as a response video to the nasty political war being waged right now on the mean streets of Greenwich, CT in the race for U.S. Senate. Democrat Richard Blumenthal is running against Rep. Linda McMahon...who many of us who grew up in the early 2000's know simply as the former C.E.O. of World Wrestling Entertainment and the wife of controversial, uber-billionaire Vince McMahon. Along the political road, McMahon has pushed Blumenthal's buttons for being a fiscally irresponsible liberal. In the most mature move possible, Blumenthal of course referenced Linda being hit over the head with a steel chair on live television. Which I guess really isn't actuallythat bad, considering I remember a lot worse things being done to, or around, the former C.E.O. of WWE (then the WWF, before endangered pandas stole the company's name). For example, I remember Katie Vick. I wish I didn't...but I do.
Blumenthal has continued to promote McMahon's overseeing of the raunchy days of what the WWE now calls it's "Attitude Era." Earlier this week, Vinny Mac took it upon himself to defend his company, his wife, and his reputation by lauching this "Stand Up for WWE" promotion on every social network available, as well as WWE.com. It seems that in the past five years or so, the WWE has traded in it's Attitude Card for a pinwheel hat and a lollypop. WWE programming is now exclusively PG rated, features no swearing, sex or excessive violence (which I understand now to mean, no chair shots to the head. Just the back), has marketing deals with children's magazines, Mattel toys, and numerous other "family friendly" enterprises. Essentially, it's a throwback to the "Say your prayers, eat your vitamins!" 80's only with the guy from "The Marine" instead of Hulk Hogan.
Blumenthal points out that Linda oversaw a wildly controversial, weekly episodic TV show that routinely garnered mature ratings and more outrage from parent groups than Snooky being punched in the face by the South Park rendition Allah. There's video to prove all of this and enough Stone Cold Steve Austin middle fingers to probably fill the entire state of CT. On the flip side, the company is "clean" now, and Linda no longer has any affiliation with the WWE besides being married to The Boss. Of course, The Boss still being the original face of steroid abuse in sports in the United States, and a guy who once had human crap sprayed on him and his son in fron of 15 million people. I should probably mention the fact that too that, as a business practice, the WWE has seen a marketing boom throughout the last 15 years, even lasting through the latest recession with great numbers on Wall St. as a publically traded company (thank you, American Airlines in flight magazine article). Regardless of content: people just really like wrestling. It used to be kids, then it was adults, then it was teenagers, now we're back to kids again.
So is Blumenthal in the right for using such inflamatory video against McMahon in this race? Should he acknowledge that the company has gone the family friendly route and, despite it's raunchiness, the business was still a successful one and brought business to the state of CT during McMahon's tenure with the company? Should McMahon have to at least atone for her on-air sins during the "Attitude Era" and address them like a professional? Should she sling mud back? Should Vince McMahon have brainstormed this new "Stand Up for WWE" thing, which is going to cause great feedback from fans I assume, but horrible feedback from the democratic challenger?
There are a lot of relevant, ethical questions going on here and I think this election, not the stupid one in Delaware with the witch, is the best microcosm of national politics in the U.S.A: The practice of attack ads over issues. The relevance of one's past business practices versus their current day objectives. The dillusion of politics into entertainment, and vice versa. The overwhelming media obsession with "drama" over state issues, which I think everybody can agree should be the real talking points in the CT Senate race.
In my opinion...McMahon helped run a major corporation that, for years, promoted indecency because that's what got ratings and made money. That's not wholely ethical, but it at least proves she's a shrewd business woman who knew how to run what was, at the time, one of the biggest money making businesses in the entire country, something CT values. By constantly going back to the "look at this horrible video!" gimmic, I think Blumenthal is grasping at straws to stir up national controversy against his more famous opponent. We get it. Linda McMahon is/was into pro wrestling, which is violent, which once upon a time was like soft-core porn, which a lot of people didn't approve of. It also proved it WAS popular enough to be a major force in entertainment, and is still making more ad money than some professional sports organizations are (I'm looking at you, everybody but the NFL). To me, that's a one time shot you can take as a candidate...then you move on to attack her political ideas. Blumenthal's not going that route, which is why Vince and the WWE have their new promotion, Linda McMahon is still more famous than her challenger but now is a demi-villain, and the whole thing is like...well...some sort of scripted, poorly acted, smackdown of a drama.
And that's the bottom line.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Pre-Rolling the Dice
"How do we make more money off the website!?"
For two years, I've given the exact same answer:
"Get sponsors for the podcasts and the live stream features."
Technically, I'm the youngest person working in the radio station, but also ironically one of the longest tenured. It sometimes makes for a weird dynamic of "He' been here for a while, so maybe he knows what he's talking about...but then again, he grows facial hair like a twelve year old girl and doesn't remember Guns and Roses, so maybe we need another opinion." I'm guessing it's this confusion that's led to a stalemate over the whole web-marketing issue.
We're not the biggest radio station in the world (AM baby!), but at any given time we can get upwards of 15,000 listeners. That's pretty solid numbers. Our website is cheaper than a suit from Sears, but I've been trying to make due making it look like not-the-ugliest-girl at the prom for a while now. The important pointI keep raising to "The Powers That Be" is this: why would people go to a news/talk radio's website? To click on the advertising tiles on the left and right hand side? To see the profiles of the hosts? To read about the latest trends in eyebrow plucking?
No! They go to listen! Hear the interview they missed or listen live because they're stuck at work! Not to get all number-y...but the stream has been downloaded 10,000 times since the start of the new year. The podcasts get played over 160 times a week. And there's no advertisements on them. At all. To advertise on the air at my station, or one of a similar size and market, can cost thousands of dollars a month for the potential of maybe a few dozen commercials at best. If Sam's Bed and Taco Emporium were to advertise on the podcasts, for example, they'd be heard nearly 200 times a week, guaranteed. As anybody who watches videos of Hulu or downloads content from any news site...you can't skip those little pre-rolls.
That right there is a microcosm of modern advertising in the media. The traditional outlets like radio and print and even TV commercials are damn near impossible to pitch. People are using them less, and even when they do they aren't likely to stay dialed in for the commercials as much as they used to. It's a world of sliding in advertisments here and there, coming up with catchy hooks (and now the WB Mason Postgame show, anyone?) that become synonymous with the product. Sponsor the news, the weather updates, the interviews, the traffic...whatever you can possibly stick a name in front of that people cannot avoid. In other words, nail them when they go online, where everybody is aware that we can't avoid pre-roll commercials before downloadable content.
So...uh...that's how'd I'd like to see money get made off the website.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
"The View" was right. Gross.
Ugh...I think I just whole-heartedly agreed with the ladies of "The View." Somebody bring on the Pepto, please.
Are there even any words anymore for entertainers who have turned to political controversy to make quick cash? They can't be stopped, they can't be shut up, and more and more people actually take their word as hard news by the day. What's worse is the potential "end-game" this gimmick is going to come down to: violence.
Who do you think is more likely to face the wrath of some psycho on the street who can't stand their political views anymore and decides to take matters into their own crazy hands....O'Reilly, or Obama?
Yeah...this isn't going to end well.
Show Biz 101
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Not-So Beautiful People
Of course, barely anybody knows who the hell he is.
This got me to thinking about the celebrity of athletes in the media. Who are the most well known athletes and, more importantly, why are they so well known? Let's see....
MLB - Alex Rodriguez (steroids, had sex with Madonna, biggest contracts ever)
NFL - Peyton Manning (in lots of commercials, very talented, historical choke artist, sort of funny) or Chad Ochocinco (reality TV and Twitter star)
NBA - LeBron James (self promoter, hometown skipper, global a**hole) or Kobe Bryant (aggressiveness, rape)
NHL - Sidney Crosby (top-2 player in league, former champion, only hockey player allowed on TV commercials outside of "VS.")
Of the four major sports (screw off, NASCAR), only one of the biggest stars is actually only known for their talent. The fact that more people know who Chad Ochocinco is over Adrian Peterson is upsetting. Alex Rodriguez being more well known than Albert Pujols, who's only the best baseball player in the last 70 years, is the pinacle of "What The Hell Is Going On Here? Apparently, nobody remembers the most earth shattering, brain explodiest homer ever hit in the 05' Playoffs. Brad Lidge actually died he turned his neck around so fast. Don't look that up
Should this make us appreciate our actual star athletes more? The fact that, in the era of celebrity and controversy, some guys like Crosby, Pujols, Hamilton, Kevin Durant, etc...can actually succeed under the radar for an extended period of time is astounding. What's more astounding is that, if you woke up tomorrow to learn that Albert Pujols was found with PED's or Durant had beat up his girlfriend...you'd never stop hearing about them. Their names would be engrained in your head until the day you die, and the name association with "BAD!" will always linger.
That's why I say "cheers" to the guys and girls who actually succeed and perform as role models in their given sport while somehow avoiding the top story on Sportscenter. Now THAT'S a serious achievement.
I Think I'm Still Too Unpopular For Twitter
Considering my job title actually includes the words "New Media Specialist," I'm not un-aware of the social uprising Twitter's caused in the meida world in the past two years. My problem is, the entire nework is really just designed for famous (or at least moderately popular...) people or media outlets that need a quick way of spreading news.
I am neither of those things. If I were to Tweet something, maybe ten people would see it. At least if I post a Facebook status there's good chances that maybe a dozen people would notice. Basically, that's all these little status updates are for anyway: being noticed by somebody. I'm ok with that. It's a totally narcissistic thing to do, but hell...500 million people are on Facebook everyday, so me admitting narcissism isn't exactly groundbreaking.
Twitter just doesn't make sense. Facebook exists, so therefore Twitter shouldn't. Twitter is just the status update of Facebook, only meant for celebrities who have fans who actually care about what they're eating for lunch. It's like a company just creating a website where I can play Frontierville. Nothing else. Just Frontierville. And I'd have less friends helping me tend to my Frontier, too. Which is a huge, royal, pain in the ass. (Side note: I hate the fact that I know that.)
Anywho...Twitter should be roped off to the common man at this point. I'm sick of seeing TV ads or hear people talk about their Twitter pages. Just use Facebook. You're not popular enough for Twitter. Ashton Kutcher says so. Or, at least his 2 million fans do.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The NHL Is So Uncool, It's Cool.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Student Media: Who's the Boss, Anyway?
Every local media outlet in the area, including my own radio station (1480 WSAR! Listen Live now on WSAR.com!) and every single solitary newspaper in the region covered the event live. Going through the provided means given to us lame, techy-like people, each of us were given a link to UMass Dartmouth's live video stream. Great. Fantastic. Outstanding. Problem is, the guy we were all dealing with who oversees both the student run radio and TV stations had no idea what he was doing. I mean that literally. If thrown into a lion pit and was told to defuse a bomb, I'd have a better chance.
In conversations with the guy, and from previous experience in college radio stations, I was fairly confident his only expertise was hitting the button that says "TALK." That'd be great if the poor guy didn't have to run the entire damn school media. Once I started throwing out "questions" and "technical words" and trying to address potential "issues" that could "f*** us out of thousands of dollars in sponsorships," he kind of got a little ornery to say the least. Our conversation ended with me asking if there was some sort of audio backup, should the video fail, and I got a one word email back.
No.
In the end, the experience was a disaster that cost the local papers a LOT of advertising dollars, and a whole hell of a lot of angry web viewers wondering why the video of the debate was terrible.
WARNING: TECH MOMENT: they just set up a camera with no feed into the candidates microphones, meaning it was akin to just shooting a debate from 150 feet away with a cell phone. Because the candidates used wireless microphones to speak, there was also bled over RF that caused the viewing and listening audience to hear a nearby oldies station. The debate sounded awful, but The Temptations have never sounded better. If you got any of that last paragraph, I both congratulate and pity you.
Luckily, because I didn't trust the set up, I created a back up plan that got us the audio feed from UMass' radio station online. The papers? Not so much luck.
The fact that such a person, and this goes well beyond the dreary greystone campus of UMass-D, has control over student media operations is a disservice to the actual students. There is no technical understading of the business, which means the students won't get any either. I'm positive that if anybody looked into it, the young man in charge probably has a degree in history and spent the last few years as a teaching understudy. But because student media is seen as a busy project at some schools, it's acceptable to throw them into this situation. The result was a disaster of a project, a complete lack of faith in an entire university's media department, and the loss of thousands of dollars. The stupidest part being this: had the governor's "people" opted to hold the debate down the road at the much less esteemed Bristol Community College auditorium, it would have gone off without a hitch. The theatre is nicer, bigger, and run by several people with technical experience in both audio and visual media.
I guess the community college setting wasn't up to par with the candidate's high standards.
It's generally upsetting to me to constantly have potential interns coming through my office every semester looking for experience, have several years of college radio under their belts, and absolutely no concept of how the operation even comes close to working. Student media shouldn't be mental fodder for kids with mohawks who love Arcade Fire; it should be a learning ground for a pretty fun business with a lot of different nooks and crannies that can find even the poor voiced (uh...me?) being usefull in the realm of the media. Instead...every intern I have either wants to talk about the Patriots or talk about how sick Buckethead is. They don't know how the on-air process works, they don't know anything technically works, and they don't care. And THAT is the fault of the colleges who put people like my UMass-Dartmouth friend in charge, then expect to still be looked at as credible.
Give me the guys at the community college.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
This Could All Be Yours Tuesday
This Tuesday marks the release of the newest album from my favorite band, Guster. I'm really excited because it's been almost five years since their last album, even though they only briefly stopped touring just in time for everyone of them to have kids. I remember when their last album, "Ganging Up on the Sun" came out, I was a freshman in college and treked out to Providence with my best friend the day of the release to watch them perform live at Station Park. It was awesome. Although, the crowd only knew one track...the one that had been released on iTunes a week before and was currently playing on WBRU in between audio garbage such as Fall Out Boy and...well...Fall Out Boy. Naturally, I downloaded the track, "One Man Wrecking Machine," and played it 4000 times that week causing some sort of dementia with my friend, who went through phases of both love and hate for Guster not unlike a recovering alcoholic that week. I later apologized...but totally didn't mean it.
Don't criticize The Gusters. A**hole.
Anywho, the new album, "Easy Wonderful" has been in the works for like three years and it's finally done and produced and the hyper critical trio are done chopping songs for it. Several songs were left off because lead singer Ryan Miller didn't like them, one of the guys left the band (their jack of all trades "extra" guy, Joe) two weeks ago, and every song on the album is going to have a video for it.
I know all of this because of twitter, road journals, and most importantly, facebook.
The guys of Guster have a strange sense of humor, so I love the Twitter postings and the blogs. The video thing is actually more of a contest where they are taking any videos into consideration for their only currently undirected song "Bad, Bad World." They're doing this through facebook as well. Today, they released all the songs from the album on their facebook page and band website, and I've poured through a few of the tracks already. Yes, I'm at work. No, I'm apparently not professional enough to wait. They're just lucky I have the common courtesty to do it in my sound studio, and not on the air.
The point of all this (not really, I just wanted to blog about the album) is how dominant a promotional force social networking is now compared to just five years ago. I've known every step of the process in making the album and I've now heard all the tracks and seen several of the videos just on facebook alone. Guster is a band that's very close to their fans, and it seems like this social networking is a perfect storm of self promotion for them. Granted, it's not the greatest way to get new fans...but it's the best way to please the one's you already have, and that's all Guster seems to want to do with "Easy Wonderful." Through the blogs and the postings, fans already knew months ago that this was going to be a much more upbeat, uplifting album (again, they all had kids) then their last effort, which was sort of a melancholy reaction to the emotional misery of the beginning of the decade.
I've bobbed my head to "Do You Love Me?" and finger drummed to "This Could All Be Yours" and rewatched the stellar video for "Stay With Me Jesus" about 75 times in the past week. I've read about the song writing process and the different instruments Guster learned when they were trying to flesh out the album and not go back to "just bongos and acoustic guitars" like they were known for on college campuses in the early 90's. Hell, I actually heard some of the songs on the album six months ago when I saw them live in Worcester and they announced that some of the stuff they were playing was a "test run" to see if they'd want it on the album and, therefore, play it over and over at live shows. After the concert, there were a dozen photos on facebook tagging them in the songs that were new. On YouTube, the new songs being performed live sprouted up like weeds every time you searched the band's name.
Guster doesn't have YouTube take them down. They love that stuff. Most of the band's success was based on viral videos of their shows being passed from person to person in the 90's, and the brunt of the success in the early 2000's came from similar word of mouth and the sprouting of the internet.
So I guess none of this is surprising at all.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a song to listen to instead of a commercial to make...
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Yes We Can (Blame FoxNews)
Friday, September 24, 2010
Please Don't Screw This Up, SNL
On the heels of the mega-flop of the decade so far ("McGruber"), the Used-To-Be-Funny-But-Had-His-Soul-Sucked-Out-By-Years-Of-Background-Work-Because-He-Wasn't-In-Fey's-Girl's-Club Will Forte finally is exiting stage left. Which is too bad. I was checking out sites online to see if Forte had any interesting "Why He Left" stories like the awkward sexual harassment ones from years past, and stumbled across this guy:
Jay Pharoah.
He's only 22, African American, an impressionist and stand-up, and, apparently, he's replacing Forte.
A few videos later on YouTube, and I'm pretty sure this is the potentially the best cast member SNL has had in a decade. Seriously. An African American Darryl Hammond, but goofy as hell like the since un-replaced Tracy Morgan.
Is it too much to ask that the perennially lame writers SNL's been employing (not the "Lonely Island" guys. They're awesome...) to not bury this kid? I mean, can we maybe just immediately fire Fred Armisen and plug Pharoah in as Obama. Kick Keenan to the curb, maybe hire Kel...that's a possibility too...and give Pharoah a skit based on his Denzel impression? Just something! I don't want to see him just singing background for some actor's monologue where they do a tune.
C'mon breakout season for an SNL cast member. We could really use one.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Mark Zuckerberg: The Only Person Worse Than Jesse Eisenberg
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Troy and Abed in the Morning
Then again, I'm picky as hell with this stuff. I'd by lying if I said that, when I saw "The Office" and "30 Rock" were nominated again, as were Steve Carell (where have you gone, Produce Pete...) and Tina Fey, I was horrifyed. Not shocked, because we're talking The Emmy's here. But not happy.
(Has "The Office" solicited one honest, memorable laugh out loud moment in two years? Wasn't this year's "30 Rock" just Tina Fey acting flustered around that weeks guest star?)
Yes, I've seen "Modern Family" and...ok...it's pretty funny. I'm not sure how groundbreaking it is, considering it just moved "The Office" format into a family, presented a gay couple with a baby, then put Al Bundy in a jumpsuit...but it's still pretty funny. Yes, I've also seen "Glee" and, well, "Glee" sucks. Hard. I honestly haven't gotten a fad that was this popular since JNCO jeans and frosted tips. And even then, at least I tried the jeans. I fell a lot. But I tried.
The other stuff, like "Big Bang Theory" and "How I Met Your Mother" isn't for me, but I see the appeal. Geeks are in and Bob Saget's voice is like a dog whistle for money. So the popularity for them makes sense.
So here's my only questions: Where the hell is the love for "Community?"
Hells yes I'm biased here. "Community" isn't only my favorite show on right now...it might be my favorite show ever. Pop culture references from left and right, an entire character (the hilariously played implied-Aspergers-student Dany Pudi) who's entire life is one big movie and TV reference because he can't relate to the real world, Chevy Chase playing opposite himself, the ridiculously funny Donald Glover, and Joel McHale's snarkiness. Creator Dan Harmon created the anti-sitcom: a world where every character is astutely aware that they are the characature of themselves, and the absurdity goes from there.
"Community" has blended everything that I've attached myself to in today's comedy world. It's modern, against the grain, revels in the viral, and practices in the absurd (see: Starburns). No show has elicited more laughs from me, and laud from critics, for originality in years.
But no Emmy nods. No mention of Troy and Abed's bromance. No hardware for Ken Jeong's "Senor Chang" character. Just occasional praise for the epic "Modern Warefare" episode which, to this day, is probably the best half hour of television ever. If you love action movies, anyway.
It would have been nice for such a great show to get a little attention, but I guess in a weird way it's for the best that people continue to adore "The Office" despite the lack of laughs. It's probably going to keep shows like "Community" fresher for longer. Like how Current TV is a great network with three great shows (Infomania, Rotten Tomatoes Show, Supernews) but nobody cares about it. Quick tangent about "The Office"...an actual conversation with my buddy Jarrod yesterday.
HIM - "When does 'Community' start again?"
ME - "The 28th, I think. 'The Office' starts that week, too."
HIM - (pause) "Do they still let Pam talk?"
ME - "They did last year, yah."
HIM - "Then I'll wait another year before I start watching again. Maybe it'll be funny."
I guess the best case scenerio for "Community" now is being like "Scrubs:" Underappreciated for a decade, constantly a threat to be cancelled despite a cult following, genuinely funny right to the end, and a killer way to kill an afternoon when reruns start popping up. Until then, hooray for Troy and Abed.